What I Tell My Players —and Their Parents — When Matches Start to Feel Scary

“Feeling nervous before matches is completely normal. In fact, it usually means the player cares and wants to do well.”

How to Handle Match Nerves — A Guide for Players and Parents During Team Tennis Season

Team tennis season is exciting — new teammates, matches, and competition.

It can also be emotionally challenging, especially for young players.

Feeling nervous before matches is completely normal. In fact, it usually means the player cares and wants to do well.

At MO Tennis Training, we focus not only on skill development but also on helping children build confidence, resilience, and a healthy relationship with competition.

Why Players Feel Nervous

Children may worry about:

• Letting their team down
• Making mistakes in front of others
• Disappointing parents or coaches
• Playing unfamiliar opponents
• Fear of losing

Physical symptoms can include stomach aches, tension, or trouble focusing. These reactions are part of the body’s natural stress response, not a sign of weakness.

How Players Can Manage Pre-Match Nerves Establish a simple routine Familiar actions create calm:

• Dynamic warm-up
• Light hitting
• Controlled breathing
• Positive self-talk
• Visualization of simple patterns

Focus on effort, not outcome

Encourage goals such as:

• Moving feet consistently
• Staying positive
• Competing for every ball
• Recovering quickly after mistakes

During the Match: Stay Present Young players often struggle emotionally more than technically. Helpful strategies include:

• Using a between-point routine
• Taking a deep breath after each point
• Focusing on the next play, not past mistakes
• Maintaining active body language

Understanding Team Pressure In team matches, players often feel responsible for the entire result. Remind them that:

• Every match contributes, but no single player determines everything
• Effort matters more than outcome
• Supporting teammates is part of success

The Parent’s Role Parents play a critical role in shaping how children experience competition. During matches, parents should provide emotional support, not coaching. Helpful behaviors include:

• Staying calm regardless of score
• Offering encouragement without technical instruction
• Allowing coaches to handle strategy
• Modeling composure and perspective

Children are highly sensitive to parental reactions.

What to Say Before Matches Keep it simple: ✔ “Have fun.” ✔ “Compete hard.” ✔ “I love watching you play.” ✔ “I’m proud of you.” Avoid outcome-based pressure.

What to Say After Matches The ride home is often the most emotional time. Start with open, supportive questions: ✔ “How did it feel out there?” ✔ “What did you enjoy most?” Allow the child to process before offering feedback.

Our Goal at MO Tennis Training Competition should build confidence, not fear. We aim to help players learn how to:

• Handle pressure
• Stay resilient
• Support teammates
• Enjoy the process of improvement

These skills extend far beyond tennis.

By Michelle Okhremchuk